Monday, 7 February 2011

20 Days of Warcraft Redux - Why Did I Start?

Why I decided to start a blog, or why I decided to start a WoW-blog...?  As an adolescent (I would say teenager, but I’m 99.99% certain I was 11 when I started) I kept a diary.  A proper, pour out your heart and soul onto blank pages diary which I wrote in every day without fail.  Every Christmas my parents would buy me a new one, usually A4 size but sometimes A5 (which was cooler because it was twice as thick – each day gave you two pages to write in…) and honestly, until my mother and I had a discussion a few years about it, where she told me the truth (i.e. of course she read it regularly – her defence being, I kid you not, “It was better that I knew what you were doing darling, what mischief you were getting into, than I had unspecified concerns about just about everything.  I know that you’re mature enough to understand that now.”  Really – wtf??) I thought neither of them knew where I hid it.  Under my pillow.  Duh – why would I need a better hiding place…? It was my diary and I was a (pre)teen, therefore of course my life was private and no-one would dare invade that. Hmm.

Anyway, when I left home at 16, I took them with me, and they stayed with me through a few house/flat moves but about a year or so later I was foolish enough to start to re-read them.  Clearly, reading ones youthful angst should be best left until said angst has departed, say around the age of 30-something.  I was so distressed by, and unable to cope with, all the emotion they contained (and my life was far from stable at the time) that, to my deep and abiding sadness, I burned them – yes, that’s kinda angsty and dramatic as well...  It’s something that I regret – mainly because now my Eldest is 15 I’d really have liked to have given them to her to read: see, I was young once – I do understand!! 

For years and years I didn’t keep anything resembling a diary, a journal – call it what you like.  Then, and I can’t recall how, I started to be aware of the existence of blogs.  Hey – online diaries that remove the need for all that tedious handwriting!! (I assume that I’m not alone in being able to type a great deal faster than I can write now?)  So for a long time I kept a ‘personal’ blog, that I emptied my head into. It got me through a marriage break-down and funnily enough, it was where I first started (I think) writing occasionally about WoW, eventually I stopped writing there – it has served its purpose and I no longer needed that ‘escape route’ for my emotions.  As I’ve mentioned before, I deleted it some time ago – my life has changed a great deal and I wasn’t comfortable with all that (slightly more grown-up) angst being on the interwebz.  I missed writing though – it had become part of a routine – and then one day a guildie linked me a page from the sadly missed 4Healz - it was the Valentines Day post and it made me roar with laughter.  Then I realised that there was an entire sub-set of people, an entire community, who wrote about their experiences in WoW. 

My first WoW blog was jointly written but briefly lived.  Then I eventually moved to /Moar Alts, where I have remained for nearly a year now.  Writing is still part of my life and something that I love.  Despite my occasional breaks I’m always drawn back, both to blogging and Azeroth.  I can’t see that changing hugely in the foreseeable future… 

4 comments:

  1. I started writing a diary around that age too - and I still have it.. eh.. somewhere. I was never as diligent at writing as you were though. There could be months and sometimes years between entries. Like you I eventually moved on to a personal online blog (I have problems writing by hand since it ends up hurting my wrist/hand) and it's much better. Still have that one and I still write in it, but like my diary it's very random and sporadic *lol*

    The WoW blog in a sense I guess is easier because while personal it's not *as* personal (if that makes sense).

    I do love reading everyone's blogs. Both personal ones and WoW blogs (but I obviously keep them on separate feedreaders ;) )

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  2. It's great to see some people started blogging for different reasons and in some cases, the evolution of personal blogs into people blogging about WoW :D

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  3. @ Saga - oh I'm jealous that you're still in possession of your diary...

    @ Jak - yeah blogging about WoW is easier! That said, I think I regularly run into the TMI river on this blog so... :)

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  4. I still have all my diaries hidden in a box somewhere too.. Age 13-19 and my god I bet I'd cringe if I ever read them again :D Though, if I'm honest, I never wrote through the good bits - so there will be lots of gaps and it'll all be emo :P

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