Monday, 8 November 2010

Warlock Redux (AKA Pilf - write about something other than 'locks!)

This post could just as easily be titled: Warlock Vanity Glyphs That I Want To See. Thanks Ghost Crawler - the masses have their sparkle ponies (grumpy old men aside that is!) so now I have a small request. As I understand it, and I might well be wrong here, as I'm playing locks of lowbie-ness, the current minion situation is as follows:
  • Destruction - Imp
  • Demonology - Felguard
  • Affliction - Succubus
Just so I can get it off my chest there's a rant en route (all images 'borrowed' from WoWWiki) so y'all have, as ever, been warned...

Psycho Felguard
Tressa loves her felguard and now you can get them at level 10 as a demon specced 'lock why would you use any other pet? I remember getting this on my original 'lock and being just made up beyond words. The felguard is an awesome tank of awesomeness (and that's a whole lotta awesome right there!) But actually, that's just a little bit sad. Does any demon specced 'lock even consider using their voidy now? yes, I know they're a PITA (see below) but voidys used to be tanks for all 'locks. And as I'm going to rant (briefly) about gender stereotypes a bit more later, I'd better hold my hands up and admit that the felguard is obviously quite gendered. As in, it would be hard to convince yourself that it's anything other than male. I really want to be able to rename my felguard, then I could call him Dolph (and really? A Masters in Chemical Engineering?) and it would give me happiness every time I summoned him. I also like their badly suppressed anger at... well, everything and everyone really.

That Annoying Blue Thing Voidwalker
AKA The most-annoying-tank-evarrr but despite being a big blue blob we are all grateful when as a lowbie clothie we got something that acted like a meat shield. If you're not demon specced you'll be cussing the huge quantity of space he takes up for some time yet, which yeah is an annoyance. But that "What do you want from me?" is quite endearing. And I'm referring to it as 'he' because that seems to be the gender that fits (possibly something to do with the gravel voice) but I'm happy for this to be debated! I know there's a Alliance quest in the Wetlands that 'reveals' the 'true' gender of the minion but it's been so long since I've done it, I'm afraid I've forgotten how it all works out.

GM Puppy Felhunter
Aww bless - throw the doggie a bone, c'mon, have you no heart? I know opinions divide on the felhunter but since they provide Fel Intelligence they're quite useful to have around. I've never really used them, as they USED to be the affli pet of choice but they look like a hell-hound (sorta) and if 'locks had pets... well I think they'd look like this. I gather they've been usurped by Herself (see below for yeah...rants etc) Devour Magic is still pretty damn useful (I assume especially in PvP especially with those other pesky casters) as is Spell Lock. And who doesn't want a puppy really? Look at those big... erm... glowing eyes.

Right... deep breaths....

Scary, frustrated male fantasy Succubus
Angry Pilf remains angry. Seriously, there is nothing about this chick that doesn't piss me off. Her fucking stupid voice, her inane pseudo-sexeh fingernail-inspecting, butt-spanking indifference. Ugh. It makes my head ache. Ok, I get what a succubus is, but I also get what they aren't. I'm fairly sure that they shouldn't be something that looks like it was dreamt up by a sexually frustrated teenage boy (who's actually quite scared of woman) in his bedroom with his dick in his hand. Sorry rant nearly ended.

However, I should in the interests of fairness and honesty, point out that Himself muttered that if I could have an incubus I'd see it differently. And clearly, as is often the case,Himself has a point. Now I'm happy for the felguards to come in a female version as well, just for the record, but I really would like a incubus. Himself's view is that what I'd actually like is a leathered up, male belf. Ahem. He may have a point.Something like this... would be sufficient. To begin with. I'd happily tinker with pixels... For a while. *sighs* Just a bit of equality for all - that's not too much to ask for is it?

Youngest Daughter Imp
How can anyone not adore the imps? They're just the most darling minions - cheeky and cartwheely, muttering and chuckling away to themselves? Surely, this would be everyone's minion of preference given an option? What I want is an imp that can tank. Then I can play destro (which I love) but not use a voidy (which I don't love). Which brings me, eventually, to the point of this post: GC gimme a few vanity glyphs - one that turns my voidy into an imp - looks wise and one that lets me choose the gender of my incubus/sucubus. And the gender of my felguard, lest I be accused of being sexist and only interested in tender young belf flesh...

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