Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Ambivalence (or why I'm pouting.)

And now I'm going to whinge - don't say you weren't warned.

I've finally given in and taken Pilf to Northrend but blimey I dislike it. Like, I really dislike it. I don't really like the zones, the armour is so ugly it actually makes me want to cry, I can't fly which irks me, I don't want to throw myself into the hell that is PuGs... And I'm suffering from the I've done this twice already thing. I know that one can argue that of pretty much all zones but at least in 'nilla you could (to a degree) choose your poison. When I levelled Shad (who was Pilf Mk 1) through Northrend I spent a lot of time in instances with a gang from my guild - we pretty much did a lot of the levelling this way. With Kythes I just flogged myself through the levelling and didn't instance at all. But each time it was new to me. Stepping into Naxx for the first time was A Big Deal. I'd never seen 'old' Naxx, nor had most of my guildies so when things like this happened:

We laughed - and yes, that does say "Heigan the Unclean down after 18 minutes and 52 seconds" - good going huh! Because these were the people that I had partied with before...

And after we cleared ZA:

...In that way that you do when you spend far too much time on vent, know each other inside out and raids just happen easily. Where the only loot dramaz (that used to make our GM fume) were about people refusing to take the loot because it was more of an upgrade for someone else /sigh, I loved 10-mans... But then the guild went 'kaboom' in the way that guilds do, and my darling hunter-friend gave up WoW for RL and my darling shamalama-friend went alt mad and also got a woman and RL, and I went 25-man raiding and burnout and misery and woe ensued.

Up until now (today to be specific, 3 hours ago to be more specific) I was dead happy where I was. I love SAN - it's like a cuddly, fluffy blanket that wraps itself around you and gives you warm fuzzy hugs every time you log on. Ditto my guildies. I love Pilf, to the extent that I'm failing to play any other alt, which saddens me, but the thing I love most about Pilf is 'her'. The she's this entity, this being who (most of the time) is totally out of my control and that her life seems to 'happen' with minimal input from me (that sounds mad for which I apologise but I can think of no other way to describe it better). But this is such a double-edged sword. I'm horribly... invested in her. Over-invested, probably, and her story is taking over not just my gaming, but that of the Other Half too. Which is incredibly unfair, unworkable and untenable.

So what to do? I should go through and purge my characters that I'm actually not going to play *looks at the Death Knight* I guess, and try and create someone new. I know that if I leave Pilf for a while I'll come back to her and she'll be shiny and fresh again and I'll get that hoppity-skip feeling going again. But in order to do that I have to start again, from scratch and really give another character a fair chance. It's not the end of the world after all - I had already decided that I wasn't going to go instancing either in normals or on heroics on her, no need to gear up when I have no intention of raiding, which would mean getting to 80 and then going 'meh'. Maybe that's what's really bothering me; historically when I hit 80 with a character I have that sense of done it! And then I tail off playing them, well I have done with the three who are 80 and neglected. And I don't want that for her.

I also want to RP moar. But, heaven knows, I'm not brave enough to actually create a character then approach an RP guild *whimpers slightly* so I guess it's solo RP (does that even exist??) Which leaves me with a further question - Horde or Alliance? Now bear with me here, I've played both so I don't have 'faction pride' in any real sense. Added to this is the fact that I want the two classes I intend to play in Cata left fresh and new for me - so that rules out a druid and... something for my goblin. Possibly a hunter. There are only two classes I have yet to really try: rogues and warriors. Both melee *shudders*. Neither of which I know anything about. I would adore to get something going Alliance side, but that means I leave my SAN friends alone (intermittently, and someone else might get a word in on gchat so they may be grateful!!) and strike out knowing no-one... And y'know, I'm quite a sociable gal so this might just be depressing. Then again I could just do nothing and assume that the moon is in the wrong quarter or something... I don't know.


  1. I don't think you need an RP-guild to RP. I know plenty of roleplayers who are members of raiding guilds who RP perfectly happily in-between those raids.

    There's plenty of fun to be had from roleplaying in open events such as as Strongest of the Horde or simply joining in conversations in Silvermoon.

  2. I think it's just possible I'm suffering from 'grass is greener' syndrome... I keep going 'hmm I wonder...' about RP guilds as I assume (possibly totally incorrectly) that the guild itself has a storyline being played out, as an additional dimension. Not that I intend to move Pilf!! As I said, I adore SAN, I'd just like to explore more and have a character thats IC all the time basically.

    Additionally, and feel free to snigger, I'm not all that brave about kicking off conversation with people that I don't know. You can't stop me talking in guild I know, but that's about being comfortable with people - which is harder to do when you don't know them. And so the wheel turns. But thanks Sven, I need to keep reminding myself that RP doesn't just *happen* :)

  3. I remember that Heigan fight, it and that Nightbane fight that we had time to do two Rebirths in, are fights that are forever etched in my brain. Trying to dps as a paladin tank is not fun, especially during TBC.

  4. You are right in saying that some RP-guilds have ongoing plot-lines and interactions with others, so in that sense, you'll get more RP than in a regular guild. It's helpful, rather than essential, I think.

  5. I kind of know what you mean, except I think my choice has been made for the time being, I'm just a little scared to admit it *hides*

  6. Oh? In what way? *is curious now* !!

  7. Well, some ideas going around with the other half and some friends in regards to guilds and Cata.. I might be rerolling - back to my Priest, but I'm not deciding yet, or announcing it, or anyfing like that *finger on mouth* Have to see how things go.